Life as a Single Two

{ May 21, 2010 @ 9:24 am } · { T1B1 }
{ Comments (1) }

I feel quite used to being alone in school. Sometimes I like being alone because I feel quite upset and I do not want to make other people worry. When I am not upset, I usually like company with either my class or a friend. When I am contented, I do not mind being in a group. Usually, I feel out of place when I am in class. I usually keep silent when I do not feel comfortable being in a crowd. When I am alone, I usually listen to music and play some games to try to forget my worries so I can calm down. Sometimes it does not work so I have to talk to my close friends and family friends who can understand and help me out. When I talk about close friends they are my friends from my secondary school because I do not have any in this school yet. My sister recently sent me a letter by snail mail. She was very concerned about my welfare. I had been unhappy for the past 2 weeks. She was somehow told about this and wrote to me to try to cheer me up. I was told that life had ups and downs but for me I felt that life was just full of downs. I think that I would be stronger and able to support myself happiness by next semester. I think by that time I would be ready to get into a relationship. My dream is to be a game designer and it was what pulled me through my hard time to get into Polytechnic. I think if I have that same mentality I can make it through Visual Effects too. Be strong for myself because no one can be strong for me. It is hard but I think I can do it with the support of the people who care for me. I really appreciate their love and care. I maybe a difficult person to be with but I think that all their effects to help me get through my difficult times are not wasted.

Life as a Single

{ May 15, 2010 @ 9:53 pm } · { Uncategorized }
{ Comments (4) }

I am single. Everyday when i take the public bus to school i see couples. Usually they are holding hands and once,  I saw a boy stroking a girl’s legs. I was startled for awhile and thought he was molesting her. I realised that they were a couple. I felt a chill down my spine. I kept seeing lots of couples holding hands in school, on the public bus and at a shopping center. I kept wanting to avoid all this but I end up seeing more of it everywhere. I end up going mad with desperation and I try to just listen to my music and just dance to the beat to try to focus my mind on something else. Sometimes, I wish I would not go out for lunch with my family but all this cannot be avoided.

Well I will focus on my studies on my first year of poly and expand my social circle.  Maybe someday along the road i might find a girl who suits me. Right now, I am trying to get used to poly life and may not have time to maintain a relationship. I guess I have to close my eyes when I am on the bus so i will not be envious of other people.

To all the singles out there. Here is my advice there are lots of girls and boys out there if u ever get into a relationship do not feel sad if u break up because she is not the only girl or boy in the world. There will be one who suits you but you just have not found her yet.

The Life of a ADHD Kid

{ May 6, 2010 @ 11:31 am } · { T1B1 }
{ Comments (1) }

A.D.H.D is the abbreviation of Attention Deficit Hyper Disorder. This is not some sort of Mental Illness.

It is a sort of disability but it does not mean that you are stupid or anything of that sort. I was diagnosed with  A.D.H.D when i was a kid.

I was always bullied in school during my Primary School life and even during my Secondary School life.  A.D.H.D people have trouble making friends and even have difficulty understanding jokes. A.D.H.D people also have trouble coping with school. A.D.H.D people tend to be more emotional but that would be stereotyping though I myself am very emotional. I used to think that I would never make it to Polytechnic or even to Secondary School.

Well I have learnt in psychology that I have a weakness and it is emotions. That has been a big issue in my life so far. One remark from a friend of mine in my secondary school affected me real bad. I was rather upset for a few days but I got a grip of myself and proved to that friend that I could do it. There is a long way for me to go but I had a dream and a goal in Secondary School and that was what made me do my very best in my IGCSE ‘o’ levels. My dream was to be a Game Designer and also learn to be a visual effects artist. I have a few goals in my new stage of life in Poly and that is to learn more about myself and get my self confidence up. Every baby step I take will play a big part in my life. I am a slow learner but I believe that I will still make it.

All the ADHD people out there please believe in yourself. I may not be a great person but I know that ADHD is not an issue or an excuse to say we cannot do well but we can overcome it by working harder and believing in ourselves.

Cheers!

My Grandmother

{ May 2, 2010 @ 11:40 am } · { Uncategorized }
{ Comments (1) }

MY LIFE SO FAR?

Let me see.. where should I start. I have just survived 2 weeks in Poly. I did not just enjoy Poly but i look forward to it everyday. This is my first time actually really looking forward to school everyday. Now that it is a Saturday, I am enjoying it as i do not feel so stressed.

Today, i visited my paternal grandmother at Alexandra Hospital. She is down with cancer and and only has about at most 1 year more before she passes away. When i went to visit her,  I saw a number of elderly patients all in the beds. As I looked at them, I felt quite disturbed because I do not like seeing people suffering. It reminds me of how my other grandmother was when she was in hospitals with all those wires stuck into her body. All those sharp, prickly needles send chills down my spine. I can imagine how painful it must be for those who have needles stuck into their body to either have medication injected into them or blood transferred to them.  I see blood packets hanging everywhere in the ward. The sight of blood really makes me queasy.

Since last week my grandmother was moved to the normal ward and is no longer in the intensive care unit because the doctors said that there was no point in carrying on giving her medication.  We were told to be prepared for the worst because the cancer has spread too fast in her body. When i saw my grandmother in the hospital bed my heart creaked.

My grandmother could not even talk.  The only thing she could do was nod and shake her head. I noticed that she could not close her mouth so it was practically open the whole time. I was worried for her even though I am closer to my maternal grandmother living with me because she is the one who has lived with me since i was born.

i have always enjoyed my paternal grandmother’s company. When I was younger I adored her because of all the Christmas presents she gave me and especially all the red packets for Chinese New Year. I know that sounds like she like a flowing tap of money to me but no! Please do not get the wrong idea. All these are wonderful memories of childhood.

In fact, I know that my father is more affected than me because it is his mother who is lying helplessly on the hospital bed. He visits her consistently without fail. I can see he is very concerned for my grandmother. He was never like this before. I can feel the weight on his shoulders even when he is leaving for work.

My father’s family is a cancer-prone family. That is one of my main concerns as my dad does not take care of himself properly. For example, he just picks up food that is dropped on the floor and puts it into his mouth. He also works hard for the family and frequently comes home late. I hope that he does not get cancer. At least, he goes out for a jog every night now and then. I do not want my dad to pass away before I have  even been kissed.

I want to end this post with a picture  I took of both my grandmothers at a time where we were all happy. This is a photo I treasure because it was taken just last year before anyone knew that my grandmother has cancer.

I am glad i am blessed with this family.

MY FIRST WEEK OF SCHOOL :D

{ May 2, 2010 @ 11:39 am } · { Uncategorized }
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The first week of school was fun and interesting. The introductions in each class was different from every one. I found the Intro to Computer Graphics very interesting. Watching Videos and identifying whether the features were real or done in CG. :D I think i made the right choice after all.

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